The Plot.
Two sleazy TV evangelists try to dig up dirt on each other while both provide ample fodder.
The Cast.
John Leslie – Rev. Rhodes
Shanna McCullough – Gretchen
Ona Zea – Mrs. Rhodes
F.M. Bradley – Rev. Washington
Denise Connors – Make-Up Woman
Robert Bullock – Rev. Fryer (as R. Bullock)
Nikki Knights – Alicia
Alicia Monet – Sadie May Fryer
Randy Spears – Eric
Rene Morgan – Donna (as Reneé Morgan)
Jack Baker – Sally
Veronica Hart – Ms. Walker
Richard Pacheco – Jason
Howard Darkley – Rev. Robert Mustang Le
Production Value.
Fairly good sets and quality of video/audio but let down in other areas that I will go in to during the review.
The Porn.
Male-female. Interracial. Anal and vaginal intercourse.
How is an actress this bad convincing her husband she isn’t having an affair?
Review.
Ahhh yes the televangelists. I am aware this is still going on today but there was a time in the 1980s where televangelism was a big thing. A multi-million dollar thing in fact. The televangelists were convinced that through the medium of television they could convey God’s message to a wider audience and use it to raise money for good causes. Their influence was carried far and wide. It sounds good right? Well as the old saying goes absolute power corrupts absolutely and despite their honourable beginnings the televangelists quickly realised they had latched on to a gold mine and began lining their own pockets as well as the church poor box and even started sleeping with every impressionable girl (or boy) who came down the line because God would surely forgive them after all they were still preaching God’s word – they were just getting a bit extra as a reward. Perks of the job and all that. Thus the televangelists were rocked by scandal after coked-up sex scandal and the general public lost their faith in the whole thing.
One aspect of western society the televangelists especially hated was of course pornography and these extremely excitable individuals would launch themselves in to high energy verbal assaults on the adult industry during their time on screen. They seemed determined to make any man or woman who watched a video with a couple having sex feel dirty and wrong but in a bizarre twist many couples (especially religious couples) actually got excited by this. It actually made watching these films even more of a guilty pleasure. Telling someone they can’t do something will make them want to do it. Naturally of course the televangelists left themselves wide open to ridicule by the very industry they were attacking.
Enter John Leslie and co. in The Final Taboo.
Just to clarify this movie has nothing to do with Kay Parker’s famous Taboo series of movies. In this instance the word Taboo is a reference to the pleasures of the flesh that these televangelists are giving in to. The movie kicks off with an opening credits roll that would give the 1978 Superman movie a run for its money. As well as giving us the actors names and their character names we are treated to clips of what’s ahead and these are way too long! Honestly, by the time the actual movie starts I feel like I have seen it already.
Sally liked his boss so much he kept a bust of John Leslie’s head on a shelf
So as the movie starts and we are introduced to John Leslie’s character, Reverend Rhodes, who we learn is a famous and influential televangelist but he has competition and he intends to hatch an evil plan to bring down that competition with the help of his friend/assistant Sally (a black guy – what the hell?) and Ms. Walker. Anyway, while Rhodes is busy plotting his wife is away in New York (I know it’s New York because that’s what the subtitles tell me even though the stock footage of the building looks like it could literally be anywhere else BUT the big apple) and is having an affair with her lover. Mrs Rhodes clearly has a thing for reverends as her lover is the African-American Rev. Washington. Thus we have our first “action” scene.
Strap yourselves in guys we’re going to be here a while. To F.M. Bradley’s credit he is hugely entertaining to watch as Rev. Washington and he throws himself in to the role of an evangelist who basically preaches with his penis. Unfortunately the scene quickly slows down in tempo. Don’t get me wrong both he and Ona Zee who plays Mrs. Rhodes give a spirited performance but it just goes on and on and on. I checked the time and it actually lasted 15 minutes which in porn-time is about nine hours. I should not be watching a porn scene in a porno and thinking Come on get on with it for half the time. I also felt that the climax was a little…well…anticlimactic. It just ends and that’s it.
This is not going well. Maybe the next scene will be better.
“It’s a good thing I am horny Alicia because you are terrible!”
Nope. It isn’t. The next scene skips to the home of one of Rhodes’ rivals, Rev. Fryer. Ms. Walker has enlisted the help of Alicia to pose as Fryer’s maid and get him to first have an affair with her and then get him exposed to orgies in an effort to discredit him. Sounds promising. There’s one snag; Alicia is about as good at seducing as John Candy was at figure skating (God rest the big man’s soul). She literally gets Fryer to touch her by claiming she has post-menstrual cramps and that he can heal her by putting his tongue on her pussy. Read that again! That’s messed up but it seems to work. It might not be such a problem that Alicia is awful at seduction because Rev. Fryer already seems to be harbouring some questionable fantasies of his own. Anyway, poor Alicia is healed and she then convinces Rev. Fryer to heal her friends…in bulk. ORGY!
We then get a scene where we find out that Ms. Walker has numerous whore houses – sorry businesses as she insists they are called – and that she is making a tidy profit. Meanwhile Rev. Rhodes heads to the studio and of course before going on tv he needs some make up applied by the make-up woman in his dressing room. Rhodes, being the influential man he is offers to advance her career providing he helps her with something – in short she has to jump on him and this being porn she does. Its sleazy but I have to say is probably the best acting in the movie so far. Its a testament to John Leslie who can act as well as perform. He is especially good when the deed is done and all pretence is gone. He has no intention of helping her, he just wanted to get laid. Worse still he warns her that unless she gives it to him whenever he wants he will make her life unliveable. Wow…This just got dark.
“Sally; is this a camera or a bazooka?”
So Rev Fryer now has to “heal” two of Alicia’s friends and it gets busy and messy real fast. Now that Fryer is involved in the orgies, Sally (you remember Sally, right? The black guy from the beginning???) teaches Alicia how to set up a video camera in order to record the session. I know this is the 80s but she would have to be Harry Houdini to hide that camera. Nevertheless she manages to stealthily video Fryer “healing” his flock. So now Ms. Walker has the video for Rhodes to use against Fryer and to celebrate she gives him one of her whores – sorry I meant sales assistants – to enjoy.
But – dum dum daaaah – he has been filmed too and now there is evidence against both him and Fryer. Speaking of Fryer, his barely dressed wife sees the tape and confronts him about it. She can’t be too upset as she jumps back in to bed with him almost straight away. Not so forgiving however is Mrs Rhodes who sees her husband’s tape and goes running back to Rev. Washington.
It turns out Ms. Walker has been working to set up both Fryer and Rhodes for yet another Reverend, Robert Mustang LeRoy. Even Sally has been working for her. Rhodes, realizing he has lost everything, launches in to a verbal assault on his congregation calling them all fools.
Conclusion.
This started so well but it failed to keep itself going. The film just becomes long winded and the sex has no real variation to it. Camera angles and editing are all dull and the only saving grace is John Leslie.
Rating. 2/5
She enjoys it so much in fact she returns for more later but they have to leave and so she is left to masturbate – and her pubic hair has miraculously grown back! Watched by two of her girl friends she finds they too want in and the three of them indulge in some heavy petting and kissing before her lover and his friends return. And no prizes for guessing what happens next. But wait there’s more. They can’t continue until all three girls have a shave. The whole thing goes on for nearly 20 minutes and is the longest scene.
Retro Porno Reviews 