The Goddaughter (1972)

The Plot.
The mafia Godfather is gay and gets bumped off but the family must find a replacement soon. They discover he has an illegitimate child living in a monastery named “Tony” and so they arrange to meet him. Unfortunately, they have made one mistake – “Tony” is actually “Toni” – and she turns up in a nun’s habit!

The Cast.
Tracy Handfuss  – Toni Carrione
John Paul Jones – Johnny Fagan
Diana Hardy – Bonny Carrione
Margot Devletian – Frankie Fountain
Robin Stone – Nino
Dimitri Roxoff – Lucy Brassi
William Margold – Dummy
Alan Sinclair – Michael Carrione
Roger Diamond – Conrad Gallo III
Angel Horn – Babe Piranha
Uschi Digard – Bertha from the Bronx
Becky Sharp – Becky from Brooklyn
Nancy Martin – Joy from Jersey
Kathy Hilton – Satin from Staten (as Kathie Hilton)
Gene Rowland – Vito

Production Value.
Very low. It has a very amateurish feel. Everything about it is off in some way with the editing being harsher than a gangland shooting at a retirement home. It just jumps from scene to scene leading to some humorous moments such as a girl’s clothes magically coming off as she gives a guy a massage and is standing in the same spot doing the same thing as she was when she had clothes on. There’s also a scene where a guy is playing a church organ but there’s no sound coming out from it until he is half way through the song. Also, at one point a character shouts to someone outside but the voice we hear answer him back is very obviously in the room with him.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female. Threesome and one forced scene.

Review.
In a nutshell, this is a cash-in on the success of Francis Ford Coppola’s legendary movie The Godfather released the same year as this. The Goddaughter walks a fine line between being a gangster themed sex comedy and being a straight up porn parody. All the usual gangster clichés are here such as promises being made on the day of the Godfather’s daughter’s wedding, the families on the verge of war, crooked cops and everyone all having the usual nicknames. Get used to the “offer he can’t refuse line” when watching this because in the first 12 minutes alone it is said three times.

In terms of the sex-story ratio the movie is mostly well balanced although some of the mafia scenes do drag on a bit. The stars obviously have little to no acting skill which is only exacerbated by the poor production value. That being said the cast is rather attractive with there being a nice mix of people. Also, the guy who plays the gay Godfather at the beginning is so outrageously over the top that you have to laugh and its a shame he gets killed so early in the movie.

As for the sex, well its nothing spectacular. It’s tame and unadventurous by most standards and doesn’t really flow well. You get two guys talking about how profits are down and then BAM you see two people screwing before we cut back. The whole movie goes on like that. Early in we see a couple screwing inside a coffin at a funeral home and at first I thought this was an homage to a scene in Sergio Leone’s violent gangster flick Once Upon A Time In America but when I checked the production date for that it was 12 years after this movie. Still, it’s a happy coincidence.

Where this movie stands out is how some of the death scenes are carried out – hey it’s a mob movie after all. The gay Godfather (there absolutely has to be a gay porno out there called the Gay Godfather) is killed by a woman who bursts out of his daughter’s wedding cake and guns him down. There’s an insane scene where a woman with large breasts smothers a man to death with them. In another scene a woman appears to hide a gun up her vagina and shoots a guy dead while another woman has a penchant for biting men’s dicks off!

It’s all played for laughs but the movie has its one-eighty when Toni gets gang raped by one of the other mafia Dons and his goons. After leaving her bruised and bloody they crucify her while leaving a dead guy hanging from the ceiling beside her – porn???

Conclusion.
This movie is all over the place. It’s just another cheap and nasty skin flick that was thrown together to make a quick buck.

Rating: 2/5

Soumises Et Violees (1995)

The Plot.
Four French women get ravished by four men and a woman.

The Cast.
Corinne – The Nun
Zoe – Girl in car
Beatrice Valle – Woman at home
Linda – Decorator’s boss
(As you can see this isn’t a complete cast list. It’s very hard to find any information on this one as it is a cheap ‘n nasty production)

Production Value.
Very low budget bordering on being extremely amateurish however that may not be a bad thing depending on your tastes (see review below)

The Porn.
It is simulated rape so it is primarily male-female with an air of sadomasochism.

He wants your boots, your clothes and your station-wagon

Review.
OK – it is a touchy subject to discuss but the rape porn genre has been alive for quite some time. We’ve already looked at perhaps the most extreme case, that being 1971’s Forced Entry which is probably the closest we will ever see to a real rape without actually witnessing one, but that is not the only one. Now if you are reading this chances are you are quite open minded about pornography (or you are planning to hack the site and shut it down – either way; hello and thanks for stopping by) but this genre is one that tends to divide a lot of people and for once there’s good reason.

Look, I am not going to argue for or against the morality of simulating what is a truly horrific experience for the many victims of rape out there. The fact of the matter is there are people out there who want to watch this sort of thing not because they are budding rapists themselves but because it is a fantasy that more often than not they indulge in with their partners who equally enjoy being dominated. And it is all done with consent. Again that’s not an argument for rape porn I am just saying it exists and explaining how it is often used. If you are still offended by the notion however I do suggest just leaving now and reading a different review because the more you read on the angrier you may get.

Now that’s all out of the way let’s get on with it.

I dropped my contact lens in between them

This is an anthology of stories each with a different setting but before we get in to the nitty-gritty of each we get four tedious minutes of opening credits. And in all that time how many credits do we get? Four! Just four! WHY DO SO MANY PORNOS DO THIS? OK it shows us what we can expect in the movie but why is so much time spent on it especially when this is just a 50 minute movie? If that wasn’t bad enough we get a police siren blaring over it which feels like a dentist drill in the side of the skull. Also, the credits keep blurring to red with an effect that looks like it came from Windows Movie Maker. It just looks like someone is trying to burn the reel of film in the projector as you watch it.

The first one has a woman who is jumped upon by a knife wielding maniac as she parks her car in a multi-storey car park. The camera spends another two minutes shaking about as it is carried by someone in the passenger seat before she parks up and things happen…This is not going well. So our “victim” gets out of the car showing a lot of leg and underwear – classy – before our impeccably looking maniac jumps her with a knife and forces her to start on him.

I will give the movie this; the fact that it has a very amateurish look to it is actually a bonus given the content since it has a real gritty feel to it like you are watching a tape that will one day be labelled “exhibit A” in a court of law. I am certain though that this was unintentional since the director was known for his shot-on-shit-deo style on all his movies.

So the girl submits to the maniac and the result is slow, dull, unexciting and goes on for way too long. Honestly there’s nothing you haven’t seen before in a pile of other pornos with more acceptable premises.

We then flash to a scene where a scummy decorator (I think – I don’t speak French but that’s what it looks like to me) is getting trash talked by his rich bitch of a client. So naturally he starts tugging on her clothes and

Nun for you

gives her a good slap across the face which of course encourages her to give him the best head of his life…Yawn. Compared to the first scene this one is over in no time and again is nothing special.

Next, a nun is on a train happily minding her own business when the passenger opposite her decides he is a bit frisky and throws himself at her. This scene was even quicker than the second but is probably the best one so far.

Finally we end up in an office where a businessman…I guess…and his beautiful assistant hold down a woman and have their way with her. I am not going to stretch this out any longer because you get it by now.

Conclusion.
This was pretty lousy. It’s one of a number of niche pornos that emerged during the late 80s and 90s where the only real idea of what it was like was by looking at the box it came in (no internet reviews back then). The porn producers knew this and tried to shock you with a description of the content that failed to live up to that expectation by which time they didn’t care as you had already given your money. Even if forced porn is your thing there’s little here for you. It’s not unwatchable like Teenage Madam was but it is pretty forgettable.

Rating. 2/5

When your sexually violent partner needs a helping hand

Maximum Perversum – Exzesse Mit Wein Weib Und Gesang (1997)

The Plot.
It’s World War One and two French soldiers have had enough of fighting and desert by hiding out in a convent where the nuns are more than welcoming.

The Cast.
Adeline Lange – Sister Eleonore
Claude Noire – Sister Beata
Mona Lisa – Novice Renata
Patricia Bentin – Inn Hostess
Sabine Fleischer – Novice Roberta
Yvette Larange – Abbess Karin von Kamp
Jean Pierre Armand – Roberto
Yves Baillat – Alfonso
Roberto Malone – Sonderauer
Valentino – Jacques
Alain L’Yle – Richard.

Production Value.
Very good. The costumes appear quite authentic and the camera work and quality of the recording are everything we have come to expect from European producers.

The Porn.
Mostly run of the mill guy-girl including threesomes. Some fisting but nothing too strong.

Being a priest has its advantages

Review.
So the French Army are doing what they do best – giving up. It’s no wonder these two French soldiers are leaving the front lines they are absolutely hopeless. They try hiding from two nuns that walk passed but either the nuns don’t care or their habits block their view because there is no way they should not have seen them crouching down beside the road. So they follow the nuns in to the convent and what do they see nuns doing – why playing netball (minus the net). The soldiers are welcomed in to the convent and have supper with the priest – who gives them the biggest bottle of wine ever – before they retire to bed allowing the priest to give some good old fashioned religious instructions to two fresh faced young nuns. Naturally of course this involves handjobs, blowjobs, lesbianism and a good old fashioned guilt infused Catholic rodgering.

The Lord is good

So we get our first scene and in that great French way it is pretty much perfect. The priest is pure sleaze – he is a priest in a porno after all – but the two girls are beautiful and very erotic in their performance. They never completely disrobe during the scene but show just enough to get the blood properly flowing. The whole scene is well directed with perfect timing on the editing so it flows nicely and keeps it interesting; nothing worse than watching five minutes of a close up of a dick just going in and out. It ends with a hotter-than-the-sulphuric-acid-of-hell scene where the two nuns hold their hands out while he gives them his holy donation in to their palms. A good start.

OK – so back to the story. One of the soldiers stumbles out of the convent royally waisted from that colossal bottle of wine he was given and proceeds to take a piss observed closely by a nun whose habit looks like she got her head stuck in a lampshade and then just cut half of it open – it’s huge. And here is where it gets very continental European. The nun enjoys watching the drunk wreck of a man taking a piss and feels the need to stroke his cock while he does. It seems the nun is mysteriously turned on by something already and the soldier realises she has been watching a white nun and a black nun engage in some fisting action in the next room – and boy is it up there. It’s like the black nun’s vagina is slowly consuming the white girl’s arm.

The two continue watching until inevitably the guy gets his dick out again and the nun now erotically overloaded goes to work on him with her mouth despite the fact she just watched him relieving himself. Again, very continental European. I have never been in to this and I don’t understand what the attraction is. Sure it may be a domination thing but I just find it nasty. Alas I am not here to judge what people like only what they watch. This second scene is a bit flat for me compared to the first one. The guy doesn’t seem nearly as in to it while the girl tries her best to make up for it. To top it off we then get to see the nun cleaning up the soldier’s piss!

It’s a nasty habit

The soldier returns to the room where he and his comrade are sleeping and falls back to sleep but it’s not long before the black nun who has just been fisted creeps in and decides to balance things out by going to work on the other soldier. We get a very erotic oral scene as he wakes up and can’t believe his luck before she climbs on top and rides him reverse cowgirl style. It’s a short scene and feels a little underwhelming despite a promising start.

The next day two Gendarmarie (police) show up looking for the soldiers and they are welcomed inside where they are of course made to feel very welcome in this case by the two young nuns from the beginning. The police begin what I can only describe as a very thorough strip search and the action begins although this time there is a bit more of a comedic tone to the scene. Tongues wag frequently over pretty much everywhere including the back door and again this is down to individual taste whether that’s something for you or not. The two nuns take it in turns but before they can finish they get called outside and another two nuns come in to finish the work. This scene goes on for a little longer than it needs to but is not bad.

The two younger nuns are still fired up and continue to pleasure each other. Really, these two girls (Sabine Fleischer & Mona Lisa) have been the stars of this movie. They are exceptionally hot and skilled in all of their scenes and I will be looking for more of their films in the future. The priest from the beginning then turns up for the final stretch of the movie and we get another run of the mill scene with the older nuns before the credits roll.

Conclusion.
This was a bit up and down for me. On the one hand some of the scenes were exceptional especially the Fleisher and Mona Lisa scenes but the rest of it was a bit flat and some of the performances were a bit weak. This was entertaining and does what it sets out to. If only it could hold the good consistency all the way through.

Rating. 3.5/5

It’s tough to pray with another tongue in your mouth

The Babysitter (1930)

The Plot.
The babysitter settles in for a quiet night at her employers home when the dad comes home and gives her a bit more than her usual pay.

The Cast.
Unknown

Production Value.
Restricted by the limited capability of the technology used at the time but clear enough to see what is happening. No sound however.

The Porn.
Half erotica followed by a single male-female scene.

Review.
Let’s clear one thing up right away; there is no baby in that crib.

This is yet another example of the many numerous vintage porn movies of the silent movie era that have resurfaced in the past fifteen years thanks largely to the internet allowing them to be distributed to a wider audience. I have always found these types of videos fascinating to view because there is something hot about the secret bedroom lives of our ancestors of that period since mainstream media continues to reinforce the idea that society back then was still quite closed to sex and even sexual discussion. The truth is they were just as randy as us but had to be more careful about how they addressed it because again society wasn’t accepting of people who were open about their sexuality.

This video is a classic example of a man’s fantasy being realised on film which has always been one of the driving forces behind porn. I am not being sexist here but until the 1970s there was less consideration on female fantasies in porn since pornography or smut was always seen as a male thing which is ludicrous to modern minds where men and women enjoy porn equally. My wife will frequently send me links of videos she has seen while I am in work or away and vice-versa (a quick sidenote to this we are very happy with one another and no we are not swingers or anything like that. We just like porn). In this instance it is the middle-aged man realising his fantasy of sleeping with the younger babysitter which again is a fantasy we associate with more modern thinking since older men sleeping with younger woman was yet another taboo in the 1930s. This has always had the effect of course of reinforcing the excitement of living out that taboo which means that the taboo is eventually self defeating.

So we have “Mr Ordinary” needing to leave the baby unattended and calls for a babysitter to look after it. The attractive young woman comes over and “Mr Ordinary” leaves presumably for work. With the baby asleep the babysitter decides to take a bath and undresses incredibly slowly – it’s almost as though she knows someone is watching. After bathing for a little while “Mr Ordinary” comes home and is fired up by spying on her in the tub. The sexually repressed man finds his hands magnetically attached to her body and the two of them begin fondling before screwing. She then finishes him off with a bit of oral.

That entire story would not seem out of place in millions of videos online these days but it is interesting to view it in a true period context rather than a simulated one. OK the flipside of that of course is that to modern eyes it is a very seen-it-before video but of course you have seen it before; this is one of the first. And it’s pretty damn good all things considered. The woman is attractive and appears to be genuinely enjoying herself which is always a plus and the story flows nicely even if the whole initiation sequence seems a bit forced initially.

Conclusion.
The fact this is a very grainy silent movie may put a lot of people off and that’s understandable but for what it is it’s a fairly decent video that is both interesting as well as sexy and erotic.

Rating: 3.5/5

The Final Taboo (1988)

The Plot.
Two sleazy TV evangelists try to dig up dirt on each other while both provide ample fodder.

The Cast.
John Leslie – Rev. Rhodes
Shanna McCullough – Gretchen
Ona Zea – Mrs. Rhodes
F.M. Bradley – Rev. Washington
Denise Connors – Make-Up Woman
Robert Bullock – Rev. Fryer (as R. Bullock)
Nikki Knights – Alicia
Alicia Monet – Sadie May Fryer
Randy Spears – Eric
Rene Morgan – Donna (as Reneé Morgan)
Jack Baker – Sally
Veronica Hart – Ms. Walker
Richard Pacheco – Jason
Howard Darkley – Rev. Robert Mustang Le

Production Value.
Fairly good sets and quality of video/audio but let down in other areas that I will go in to during the review.

The Porn.
Male-female. Interracial. Anal and vaginal intercourse.

How is an actress this bad convincing her husband she isn’t having an affair?

Review.
Ahhh yes the televangelists. I am aware this is still going on today but there was a time in the 1980s where televangelism was a big thing. A multi-million dollar thing in fact. The televangelists were convinced that through the medium of television they could convey God’s message to a wider audience and use it to raise money for good causes. Their influence was carried far and wide. It sounds good right? Well as the old saying goes absolute power corrupts absolutely and despite their honourable beginnings the televangelists quickly realised they had latched on to a gold mine and began lining their own pockets as well as the church poor box and even started sleeping with every impressionable girl (or boy) who came down the line because God would surely forgive them after all they were still preaching God’s word – they were just getting a bit extra as a reward. Perks of the job and all that. Thus the televangelists were rocked by scandal after coked-up sex scandal and the general public lost their faith in the whole thing.

One aspect of western society the televangelists especially hated was of course pornography and these extremely excitable individuals would launch themselves in to high energy verbal assaults on the adult industry during their time on screen. They seemed determined to make any man or woman who watched a video with a couple having sex feel dirty and wrong but in a bizarre twist many couples (especially religious couples) actually got excited by this. It actually made watching these films even more of a guilty pleasure. Telling someone they can’t do something will make them want to do it. Naturally of course the televangelists left themselves wide open to ridicule by the very industry they were attacking.

Enter John Leslie and co. in The Final Taboo.

Just to clarify this movie has nothing to do with Kay Parker’s famous Taboo series of movies. In this instance the word Taboo is a reference to the pleasures of the flesh that these televangelists are giving in to. The movie kicks off with an opening credits roll that would give the 1978 Superman movie a run for its money. As well as giving us the actors names and their character names we are treated to clips of what’s ahead and these are way too long! Honestly, by the time the actual movie starts I feel like I have seen it already.

Sally liked his boss so much he kept a bust of John Leslie’s head on a shelf

So as the movie starts and we are introduced to John Leslie’s character, Reverend Rhodes, who we learn is a famous and influential televangelist but he has competition and he intends to hatch an evil plan to bring down that competition with the help of his friend/assistant Sally (a black guy – what the hell?) and Ms. Walker. Anyway, while Rhodes is busy plotting his wife is away in New York (I know it’s New York because that’s what the subtitles tell me even though the stock footage of the building looks like it could literally be anywhere else BUT the big apple) and is having an affair with her lover. Mrs Rhodes clearly has a thing for reverends as her lover is the African-American Rev. Washington. Thus we have our first “action” scene.

Strap yourselves in guys we’re going to be here a while. To F.M. Bradley’s credit he is hugely entertaining to watch as Rev. Washington and he throws himself in to the role of an evangelist who basically preaches with his penis. Unfortunately the scene quickly slows down in tempo. Don’t get me wrong both he and Ona Zee who plays Mrs. Rhodes give a spirited performance but it just goes on and on and on. I checked the time and it actually lasted 15 minutes which in porn-time is about nine hours. I should not be watching a porn scene in a porno and thinking Come on get on with it for half the time. I also felt that the climax was a little…well…anticlimactic. It just ends and that’s it.

This is not going well. Maybe the next scene will be better.

“It’s a good thing I am horny Alicia because you are terrible!”

Nope. It isn’t. The next scene skips to the home of one of Rhodes’ rivals, Rev. Fryer. Ms. Walker has enlisted the help of Alicia to pose as Fryer’s maid and get him to first have an affair with her and then get him exposed to orgies in an effort to discredit him. Sounds promising. There’s one snag; Alicia is about as good at seducing as John Candy was at figure skating (God rest the big man’s soul). She literally gets Fryer to touch her by claiming she has post-menstrual cramps and that he can heal her by putting his tongue on her pussy. Read that again! That’s messed up but it seems to work. It might not be such a problem that Alicia is awful at seduction because Rev. Fryer already seems to be harbouring some questionable fantasies of his own. Anyway, poor Alicia is healed and she then convinces Rev. Fryer to heal her friends…in bulk. ORGY!

We then get a scene where we find out that Ms. Walker has numerous whore houses – sorry businesses as she insists they are called – and that she is making a tidy profit. Meanwhile Rev. Rhodes heads to the studio and of course before going on tv he needs some make up applied by the make-up woman in his dressing room. Rhodes, being the influential man he is offers to advance her career providing he helps her with something – in short she has to jump on him and this being porn she does. Its sleazy but I have to say is probably the best acting in the movie so far. Its a testament to John Leslie who can act as well as perform. He is especially good when the deed is done and all pretence is gone. He has no intention of helping her, he just wanted to get laid. Worse still he warns her that unless she gives it to him whenever he wants he will make her life unliveable. Wow…This just got dark.

“Sally; is this a camera or a bazooka?”

So Rev Fryer now has to “heal” two of Alicia’s friends and it gets busy and messy real fast. Now that Fryer is involved in the orgies, Sally (you remember Sally, right? The black guy from the beginning???) teaches Alicia how to set up a video camera in order to record the session. I know this is the 80s but she would have to be Harry Houdini to hide that camera. Nevertheless she manages to stealthily video Fryer “healing” his flock. So now Ms. Walker has the video for Rhodes to use against Fryer and to celebrate she gives him one of her whores – sorry I meant sales assistants – to enjoy.

But – dum dum daaaah – he has been filmed too and now there is evidence against both him and Fryer. Speaking of Fryer, his barely dressed wife sees the tape and confronts him about it. She can’t be too upset as she jumps back in to bed with him almost straight away. Not so forgiving however is Mrs Rhodes who sees her husband’s tape and goes running back to Rev. Washington.

It turns out Ms. Walker has been working to set up both Fryer and Rhodes for yet another Reverend, Robert Mustang LeRoy. Even Sally has been working for her. Rhodes, realizing he has lost everything, launches in to a verbal assault on his congregation calling them all fools.

Conclusion.
This started so well but it failed to keep itself going. The film just becomes long winded and the sex has no real variation to it. Camera angles and editing are all dull and the only saving grace is John Leslie.

Rating. 2/5

La Puberté Sensuelle (1983)

The Plot.
A teenage girl has fallen for an older lover who introduces her to all the delights of the flesh.

The Cast.
Jacques Marbeuf – Du père (The father)
Sandy Wilson – De la mère (The mother)
Christine Verger – La fille (The girl)
Silvio Rey – L’amant (The lover)
Anna Lombardi – La lyceene (The schoolgirl)
Lydie Marlene – La lycéenne (The schoolgirl)
Corado Martini – L’ami de l’amant (The friend of the lover)
Geremy Teel – L’ami de l’amant (The friend of the lover)

Production Value.
Pretty decent for the period when you consider that this was at the start of the age of the cheap and nasty home video. It’s not the type of film you would waste money looking for a blu-ray copy of (I doubt there is one to be honest I got this off VHS) unless you are a fan of the continental European scene.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female in one-to-one and group sessions. There are also single masturbation and lesbian scenes.

Review.
Straight off the bat I have a bit of a problem reviewing this flick and that is I don’t speak French. I remember taking French in school but apart from answering my name to the register at the beginning of the lesson I can’t remember anything else. Maybe if I had paid more attention in school I would now be paid to review these movies rather than doing it as a nasty yet guilt-free hobby. Anyway, what this means is I am going on what I can interpret on the screen with regards to the plot and if someone who knows the actual story feels the need to correct me then please put it in the comments below and I will edit this review accordingly. I have searched the internet for a plot but it seems this is one of the more obscure pornos out there.

Anyway, we start off with a married couple who wake up like every married couple wants to wake up and that’s by fucking each other’s brains out. Meanwhile their teenage daughter also wakes up and takes a shower taking care to clean herself downstairs before getting ready for school. The film cuts between the two scenes and both are well shot and edited to a suitable length whereby we don’t get stuck in one scene so long that we forget the other. Kudos to the post-production team on this one. But then…Oh no. The girl accidentally sees her parents at it and finds herself strangely drawn in to watching them until they reach the inevitable climax. It has a very Taboo feel to it although all the girl does is watch in curiosity of the sexual act as opposed to wanting to join in as in those movies.

So the daughter walks to her girl’s academy and gets accosted by a real creepy dude on the way who sticks his hand up her skirt before she goes running away. She couldn’t have been traumatised very much by it because from what little French I could make out when she meets her friends she is still more interested in the fact she caught her folks at it than the stranger whose hand invaded her underwear. I was a bit dumbstruck by the inclusion of this scene. Maybe there’s something in the dialogue to explain it but it seems random and unnecessary. It barely lasts a few seconds before she runs away so its not as though it was intended to achieve anything.

Having walked around town for a few minutes where she admires the French rail network for quite a bit she meets up with her lover, a much older man who proceeds to shave her before having his way with her. The scene is a mix of vaginal and anal intercourse and is nicely shot and again doesn’t run over in terms of duration like a lot of films which makes it boring after a while. I was again a little off-put by the fact she starts crying at first when he puts a finger in her backdoor but she soon learns to like it.

She then returns home to find her mother’s hand on her dad’s crotch which she doesn’t remove when her daughter walks in…I can’t be sure but I bet there’s a lot of awkward moments in French homes. Anyway we get more walking through town where she returns to her lover’s house who is now sporting a t-shirt that looks like the homosexual rainbow flag – mixed signals – and once again he starts to have his way with her. This time however he has invited two of his friends to join in and after a little hesitation she submits to them.

She enjoys it so much in fact she returns for more later but they have to leave and so she is left to masturbate – and her pubic hair has miraculously grown back! Watched by two of her girl friends she finds they too want in and the three of them indulge in some heavy petting and kissing before her lover and his friends return. And no prizes for guessing what happens next. But wait there’s more. They can’t continue until all three girls have a shave. The whole thing goes on for nearly 20 minutes and is the longest scene.

The movie ends when we find out the lover has not only been banging the daughter but has had his way with the mother as well…Keep it in the family as Kay Parker would say.

The music throughout the movie is hit and miss. In places it is quite good with a subdued but interesting tone using acoustic guitar but then…sigh…out comes the spoof-inducing technotrash. The casting choice is an impressive aspect of the film. They have gone for performers who seem like the people-next-door while still being attractive. For me it has always destroyed the fantasy when you have the so-called “beautiful people” which is nothing more than a euphemism for connoisseurs of intense plastic surgery claiming to be this, that and the other when its very obvious they could only ever exist in the San Fernando valley.

Conclusion.
This is an above average porno movie and I am sure I would have enjoyed it even more if there was an english dub or subtitles. Although I can’t tell what they are saying I can tell that the acting is reasonably good as nobody seems to be awkwardly spewing out lines. The intercut scenes are quite artistic at times and I feel real effort was made in creating this.

Rating: 5/5

Taboo (1980)

The Plot.
A female friend of a sexually frustrated mother tries broadening her horizons with a sex orgy. Though avoiding it, the new feelings inside her cause her to force herself on her sleeping son. To her amazement, the seduction is mutual.

The Cast.
Kay Parker – Barbara Scott
Dorothy LeMay – Sherry
Mike Ranger – Paul Scott
Juliet Anderson – Gina
Tawny Pearl – Diane
Turk Lyon – Chris Scott

Production Value.
Above average for a movie of this type. The video holds up well with contemporary cinema of the period which always adds weight to the quality.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female with emphasis on a rather lengthy orgy scene where there are both male-female and female-female action. The movie culminates with simulated incest so if offended by even the notion of such a thing stop right here.

Review.
Well….It was Mother’s Day recently.

Liberalism seemed to know no bounds throughout the 1970s as far as the porn industry was concerned. Having shocked the world with movies like Deep Throat the porn-hungry public wanted to go even further and there were pornographers out there willing to deliver. Thus began the porn industry’s brief love affair with the idea of incest. It seems so shocking to us now that this was quite a popular genre on the tail-end of the golden years of pornography. We like to think that we are even more liberal about pornography today but if anything we as a culture seem to have gone backwards with what is deemed good taste.

Contrary to popular belief this movie isn’t about the incestuous relationship of a mother and son but instead tries to build up a reason for why such a situation would arise. In that respect the actual incest scene (and there is only one) is in fact the climax of the movie. There are little hints along the way that they are perhaps closer than an ordinary mother and son such as a scene where Paul tells her that he has the hottest mom in town…Cringe.

So leading up to the end we have a rather long and frankly uninteresting orgy scene. These were pretty run of the mill things for these types of movies and especially from Kay Parker who seems to enjoy playing characters who like to watch these things. For me there is just too much going on to actually engage with it and I find myself looking at a mess of bodies sprawled along the floor. A much better scene is when Paul gets off with his girlfriend played by Dorothy LeMay, one of my favourite retro porn stars and one who will reappear later in the movie series.

So, Kay Parker leaves the orgy that for some reason she doesn’t want to get in on but is still fired up by it to the point where she is willing to just jump on any dick she can find even if it is her son’s…OK. I know I shouldn’t try to find sense in a porno but really I just didn’t buy this. What I will say to the film’s credit is there is passion in the famous scene and at times they do look like they are worried about the consequences of what they are doing while still wanting to press on.

Is it a turn on? Well with regards to the sex then yes but as to the content; each their own. I am not going to say that I am appalled by this because I am morally against incest (which I am by the way) but is it any different than watching something like Dexter where the star is a serial killer? One thing is for sure however that the porn industry’s interest in incest is quite alive and well today if somewhat subdued compared to 1980 when this hit stores with blacked out windows.

Conclusion.
More reputation than actual high quality. I will say that it is an average porno and that reflects in my rating. The sequels are better at first before the whole series takes a tragic nosedive and becomes extremely dull and half-hearted.

Rating: 3/5

The True Way (1973)

The Plot.
Three women are invited to join a religious sect that purifies the soul and allows them to find the true way to happiness through sex.

The Cast.
Franklin Anthony – Teddy
Nina Fause – Margaret
Brigitte Maier – Suzy Martin
Paul Scharf – Mr. James
Bob Silvani – Spiritual Leader
Maggie Williams – Amy Young (uncredited)

Production Value.
Very poor at times. This is very low budget in every respect.

The Porn.
Male-female with a single group session at the end that includes female-female scenes. Pretty run of the mill stuff.

Review.
I know that it’s common for pornos to rip off things from mainstream movies like a plotline and claim it as their own but this one actually starts off with the James Bond theme tune. I am not kidding here it’s actually the James Bond theme! Thing is it cuts to a halt very abruptly and the camera shows us a tram in San Francisco with a voice over of two people talking. It was only at the end of the scene did I realize they were supposed to have been two people on the tram – yeah that’s how bad the dubbing is. But wait! When she gets off the tram the James Bond theme starts again and straight away I am ready to watch Jamie Bond fight off a series of extravagant bad guys.

But of course that doesn’t happen and instead we get some plot line about a girl whose husband has died and how his brother came over to comfort her. Naturally it led to sex. Well it seems the brother-in-law wants to redeem himself and gives her an invitation to go to a group of people who can help her with her sadness by helping her find the true way. Again this of course means sex with strangers in weird masks. Three ladies are invited to find the true way in all but each time the ceremony is a little different – obviously there is more than one way to get spiritual enlightenment.

The scenes of the religious ceremonies are clunky, awkward and the first one is unnecessarily long although the others are a little quicker. I swear at one point the guy playing the Monk forgot his lines and you can see him trying to recall them through a cocaine-clouded mind. Delivery of the lines is also very poor as he just spews out a lot heard-it-all-before garbage about how removing clothes is the first step to freeing yourself and finding the true way. One particularly cringe-worthy line is when the Monk, now calling himself the Master, tells the second woman, “Your coming has been expected” and then later they will all “become as one” as they engage in group sex. Puns in a porno…Tutt Tutt.

I know it’s customary to laugh at porno sets sometimes but this had me in stitches when Margaret is told to enter The Portal of Eternal Happiness and it looks like she is just walking out of someone’s living room in to the kitchen. Naturally of course the portal leads to a room where she has to screw a guy in a mask that makes him look like a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Another girl has to get it on with a guy who looks like a Mexican wrestler complete with small cape and mask. And while she’s getting busy with purifying her soul he is sprouting all this baloney about happiness and righteousness and how she is close to achieving purity and a higher level of being. Honestly it feels like I am watching scientology porn!

The dubbing at times is so bad that it feels like I am watching a Bruce Lee movie.The lighting is also appalling and it makes our first student of enlightenment with her blond hair look like a human lightbulb (see image below). That being said the actual porn isn’t all that bad. It’s just the right mix of close ups and full body shots to keep things interesting. I have to give the stars points for remembering their lines during the actual scenes although hearing the first girl keep calling him “Guiding Light” over and over again does start to get a little annoying. There’s enough here to keep it going but don’t expect anything extravagant.

—SPOILER ALERT—

The final fact about the true way is that all the masked men they have sex with are actually the ones who duped them in to going in the first place. It’s all a big con to score with ladies they wouldn’t have a chance with for one reason or another.

Conclusion.
Poor quality but it’s not unwatchable. Fairly average to the point where you won’t remember it unless someone asks you specifically about it.

Rating. 2/5

Retro Porn Trailer: A Touch of Genie

For our review of “A Touch of Genie” click here