Classic Erotic Poster/Cover Gallery #2

The Babysitter (1930)

The Plot.
The babysitter settles in for a quiet night at her employers home when the dad comes home and gives her a bit more than her usual pay.

The Cast.
Unknown

Production Value.
Restricted by the limited capability of the technology used at the time but clear enough to see what is happening. No sound however.

The Porn.
Half erotica followed by a single male-female scene.

Review.
Let’s clear one thing up right away; there is no baby in that crib.

This is yet another example of the many numerous vintage porn movies of the silent movie era that have resurfaced in the past fifteen years thanks largely to the internet allowing them to be distributed to a wider audience. I have always found these types of videos fascinating to view because there is something hot about the secret bedroom lives of our ancestors of that period since mainstream media continues to reinforce the idea that society back then was still quite closed to sex and even sexual discussion. The truth is they were just as randy as us but had to be more careful about how they addressed it because again society wasn’t accepting of people who were open about their sexuality.

This video is a classic example of a man’s fantasy being realised on film which has always been one of the driving forces behind porn. I am not being sexist here but until the 1970s there was less consideration on female fantasies in porn since pornography or smut was always seen as a male thing which is ludicrous to modern minds where men and women enjoy porn equally. My wife will frequently send me links of videos she has seen while I am in work or away and vice-versa (a quick sidenote to this we are very happy with one another and no we are not swingers or anything like that. We just like porn). In this instance it is the middle-aged man realising his fantasy of sleeping with the younger babysitter which again is a fantasy we associate with more modern thinking since older men sleeping with younger woman was yet another taboo in the 1930s. This has always had the effect of course of reinforcing the excitement of living out that taboo which means that the taboo is eventually self defeating.

So we have “Mr Ordinary” needing to leave the baby unattended and calls for a babysitter to look after it. The attractive young woman comes over and “Mr Ordinary” leaves presumably for work. With the baby asleep the babysitter decides to take a bath and undresses incredibly slowly – it’s almost as though she knows someone is watching. After bathing for a little while “Mr Ordinary” comes home and is fired up by spying on her in the tub. The sexually repressed man finds his hands magnetically attached to her body and the two of them begin fondling before screwing. She then finishes him off with a bit of oral.

That entire story would not seem out of place in millions of videos online these days but it is interesting to view it in a true period context rather than a simulated one. OK the flipside of that of course is that to modern eyes it is a very seen-it-before video but of course you have seen it before; this is one of the first. And it’s pretty damn good all things considered. The woman is attractive and appears to be genuinely enjoying herself which is always a plus and the story flows nicely even if the whole initiation sequence seems a bit forced initially.

Conclusion.
The fact this is a very grainy silent movie may put a lot of people off and that’s understandable but for what it is it’s a fairly decent video that is both interesting as well as sexy and erotic.

Rating: 3.5/5

La Puberté Sensuelle (1983)

The Plot.
A teenage girl has fallen for an older lover who introduces her to all the delights of the flesh.

The Cast.
Jacques Marbeuf – Du père (The father)
Sandy Wilson – De la mère (The mother)
Christine Verger – La fille (The girl)
Silvio Rey – L’amant (The lover)
Anna Lombardi – La lyceene (The schoolgirl)
Lydie Marlene – La lycéenne (The schoolgirl)
Corado Martini – L’ami de l’amant (The friend of the lover)
Geremy Teel – L’ami de l’amant (The friend of the lover)

Production Value.
Pretty decent for the period when you consider that this was at the start of the age of the cheap and nasty home video. It’s not the type of film you would waste money looking for a blu-ray copy of (I doubt there is one to be honest I got this off VHS) unless you are a fan of the continental European scene.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female in one-to-one and group sessions. There are also single masturbation and lesbian scenes.

Review.
Straight off the bat I have a bit of a problem reviewing this flick and that is I don’t speak French. I remember taking French in school but apart from answering my name to the register at the beginning of the lesson I can’t remember anything else. Maybe if I had paid more attention in school I would now be paid to review these movies rather than doing it as a nasty yet guilt-free hobby. Anyway, what this means is I am going on what I can interpret on the screen with regards to the plot and if someone who knows the actual story feels the need to correct me then please put it in the comments below and I will edit this review accordingly. I have searched the internet for a plot but it seems this is one of the more obscure pornos out there.

Anyway, we start off with a married couple who wake up like every married couple wants to wake up and that’s by fucking each other’s brains out. Meanwhile their teenage daughter also wakes up and takes a shower taking care to clean herself downstairs before getting ready for school. The film cuts between the two scenes and both are well shot and edited to a suitable length whereby we don’t get stuck in one scene so long that we forget the other. Kudos to the post-production team on this one. But then…Oh no. The girl accidentally sees her parents at it and finds herself strangely drawn in to watching them until they reach the inevitable climax. It has a very Taboo feel to it although all the girl does is watch in curiosity of the sexual act as opposed to wanting to join in as in those movies.

So the daughter walks to her girl’s academy and gets accosted by a real creepy dude on the way who sticks his hand up her skirt before she goes running away. She couldn’t have been traumatised very much by it because from what little French I could make out when she meets her friends she is still more interested in the fact she caught her folks at it than the stranger whose hand invaded her underwear. I was a bit dumbstruck by the inclusion of this scene. Maybe there’s something in the dialogue to explain it but it seems random and unnecessary. It barely lasts a few seconds before she runs away so its not as though it was intended to achieve anything.

Having walked around town for a few minutes where she admires the French rail network for quite a bit she meets up with her lover, a much older man who proceeds to shave her before having his way with her. The scene is a mix of vaginal and anal intercourse and is nicely shot and again doesn’t run over in terms of duration like a lot of films which makes it boring after a while. I was again a little off-put by the fact she starts crying at first when he puts a finger in her backdoor but she soon learns to like it.

She then returns home to find her mother’s hand on her dad’s crotch which she doesn’t remove when her daughter walks in…I can’t be sure but I bet there’s a lot of awkward moments in French homes. Anyway we get more walking through town where she returns to her lover’s house who is now sporting a t-shirt that looks like the homosexual rainbow flag – mixed signals – and once again he starts to have his way with her. This time however he has invited two of his friends to join in and after a little hesitation she submits to them.

She enjoys it so much in fact she returns for more later but they have to leave and so she is left to masturbate – and her pubic hair has miraculously grown back! Watched by two of her girl friends she finds they too want in and the three of them indulge in some heavy petting and kissing before her lover and his friends return. And no prizes for guessing what happens next. But wait there’s more. They can’t continue until all three girls have a shave. The whole thing goes on for nearly 20 minutes and is the longest scene.

The movie ends when we find out the lover has not only been banging the daughter but has had his way with the mother as well…Keep it in the family as Kay Parker would say.

The music throughout the movie is hit and miss. In places it is quite good with a subdued but interesting tone using acoustic guitar but then…sigh…out comes the spoof-inducing technotrash. The casting choice is an impressive aspect of the film. They have gone for performers who seem like the people-next-door while still being attractive. For me it has always destroyed the fantasy when you have the so-called “beautiful people” which is nothing more than a euphemism for connoisseurs of intense plastic surgery claiming to be this, that and the other when its very obvious they could only ever exist in the San Fernando valley.

Conclusion.
This is an above average porno movie and I am sure I would have enjoyed it even more if there was an english dub or subtitles. Although I can’t tell what they are saying I can tell that the acting is reasonably good as nobody seems to be awkwardly spewing out lines. The intercut scenes are quite artistic at times and I feel real effort was made in creating this.

Rating: 5/5

Taboo II (1982)

The Plot.
A horny young man has sex with Barbara who tells him about her affair with her son. He wonders what it’d be like to hook up with his beautiful sister and their gorgeous mother, while the sister starts thinking about their manly father.

The Cast.
Kay Parker – Barbara Scott
Dorothy LeMay – Sherry
Kevin James – Junior
Honey Wilder – Joyce
Eric Edwards – Greg
Juliet Anderson – Gina
Ron Jeremy – Orgy Guy

Production Value.
Fairly average. The video holds up well with contemporary low budget cinema of the period which always adds weight to the quality.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female or threesome. The theme of incest is much stronger in this movie.

Review.
I am not sure what’s weirder; the fact that Junior asks his girlfriend to help him sleep with his sister or the fact that she actually goes along with it?

It was clear that incest-themed porn movies were profitable after the first instalment in the series and so director Kirdy Stevens decided to answer the call for more with exactly that. In a rare example of continuity across a porno series the movie directly ties in with the first although introduces a new family to sample the forbidden fruit. It is in fact Paul’s girlfriend from the first movie’s family and her brother, Junior, gets in on the action early with Paul’s mom. Forget incest this town is interbreeding as well.

Watching this series again I can’t help but feel in hindsight they were playing it safe with the first Taboo movie. Incest isn’t the main theme but is rather something that is built towards. In that respect the film played out like a family drama whereas this drops all the pretence and is firmly about a family determined to screw their brains out with one another. The whole tone of the film is more slapstick than the first with some genuinely funny moments in places which help move it away from the realities of incest rather than try to promote the act which the first sort-of did do albeit unintentionally.

The porn is infinitely better than the first movie and is varied enough to keep you entertained. This was made in 1982 when a lot of porn movies were becoming increasingly cheap and cheesy but this holds on to the golden years of porn in its traditions of fairly decent acting, story and production. The ending scene is probably my favourite where Sherry (LeMay), after masturbating with her teddy bear, decides to sneak in her parent’s bedroom and screw her dad while her mother sleeps beside them. Then when the mother starts to wake up he boots her off and then ravishes the mother.

Conclusion.
Far superior to the first. Hugely entertaining with some excellent sex scenes. Recommended.

Rating: 5/5

Taboo (1980)

The Plot.
A female friend of a sexually frustrated mother tries broadening her horizons with a sex orgy. Though avoiding it, the new feelings inside her cause her to force herself on her sleeping son. To her amazement, the seduction is mutual.

The Cast.
Kay Parker – Barbara Scott
Dorothy LeMay – Sherry
Mike Ranger – Paul Scott
Juliet Anderson – Gina
Tawny Pearl – Diane
Turk Lyon – Chris Scott

Production Value.
Above average for a movie of this type. The video holds up well with contemporary cinema of the period which always adds weight to the quality.

The Porn.
Primarily male-female with emphasis on a rather lengthy orgy scene where there are both male-female and female-female action. The movie culminates with simulated incest so if offended by even the notion of such a thing stop right here.

Review.
Well….It was Mother’s Day recently.

Liberalism seemed to know no bounds throughout the 1970s as far as the porn industry was concerned. Having shocked the world with movies like Deep Throat the porn-hungry public wanted to go even further and there were pornographers out there willing to deliver. Thus began the porn industry’s brief love affair with the idea of incest. It seems so shocking to us now that this was quite a popular genre on the tail-end of the golden years of pornography. We like to think that we are even more liberal about pornography today but if anything we as a culture seem to have gone backwards with what is deemed good taste.

Contrary to popular belief this movie isn’t about the incestuous relationship of a mother and son but instead tries to build up a reason for why such a situation would arise. In that respect the actual incest scene (and there is only one) is in fact the climax of the movie. There are little hints along the way that they are perhaps closer than an ordinary mother and son such as a scene where Paul tells her that he has the hottest mom in town…Cringe.

So leading up to the end we have a rather long and frankly uninteresting orgy scene. These were pretty run of the mill things for these types of movies and especially from Kay Parker who seems to enjoy playing characters who like to watch these things. For me there is just too much going on to actually engage with it and I find myself looking at a mess of bodies sprawled along the floor. A much better scene is when Paul gets off with his girlfriend played by Dorothy LeMay, one of my favourite retro porn stars and one who will reappear later in the movie series.

So, Kay Parker leaves the orgy that for some reason she doesn’t want to get in on but is still fired up by it to the point where she is willing to just jump on any dick she can find even if it is her son’s…OK. I know I shouldn’t try to find sense in a porno but really I just didn’t buy this. What I will say to the film’s credit is there is passion in the famous scene and at times they do look like they are worried about the consequences of what they are doing while still wanting to press on.

Is it a turn on? Well with regards to the sex then yes but as to the content; each their own. I am not going to say that I am appalled by this because I am morally against incest (which I am by the way) but is it any different than watching something like Dexter where the star is a serial killer? One thing is for sure however that the porn industry’s interest in incest is quite alive and well today if somewhat subdued compared to 1980 when this hit stores with blacked out windows.

Conclusion.
More reputation than actual high quality. I will say that it is an average porno and that reflects in my rating. The sequels are better at first before the whole series takes a tragic nosedive and becomes extremely dull and half-hearted.

Rating: 3/5

The True Way (1973)

The Plot.
Three women are invited to join a religious sect that purifies the soul and allows them to find the true way to happiness through sex.

The Cast.
Franklin Anthony – Teddy
Nina Fause – Margaret
Brigitte Maier – Suzy Martin
Paul Scharf – Mr. James
Bob Silvani – Spiritual Leader
Maggie Williams – Amy Young (uncredited)

Production Value.
Very poor at times. This is very low budget in every respect.

The Porn.
Male-female with a single group session at the end that includes female-female scenes. Pretty run of the mill stuff.

Review.
I know that it’s common for pornos to rip off things from mainstream movies like a plotline and claim it as their own but this one actually starts off with the James Bond theme tune. I am not kidding here it’s actually the James Bond theme! Thing is it cuts to a halt very abruptly and the camera shows us a tram in San Francisco with a voice over of two people talking. It was only at the end of the scene did I realize they were supposed to have been two people on the tram – yeah that’s how bad the dubbing is. But wait! When she gets off the tram the James Bond theme starts again and straight away I am ready to watch Jamie Bond fight off a series of extravagant bad guys.

But of course that doesn’t happen and instead we get some plot line about a girl whose husband has died and how his brother came over to comfort her. Naturally it led to sex. Well it seems the brother-in-law wants to redeem himself and gives her an invitation to go to a group of people who can help her with her sadness by helping her find the true way. Again this of course means sex with strangers in weird masks. Three ladies are invited to find the true way in all but each time the ceremony is a little different – obviously there is more than one way to get spiritual enlightenment.

The scenes of the religious ceremonies are clunky, awkward and the first one is unnecessarily long although the others are a little quicker. I swear at one point the guy playing the Monk forgot his lines and you can see him trying to recall them through a cocaine-clouded mind. Delivery of the lines is also very poor as he just spews out a lot heard-it-all-before garbage about how removing clothes is the first step to freeing yourself and finding the true way. One particularly cringe-worthy line is when the Monk, now calling himself the Master, tells the second woman, “Your coming has been expected” and then later they will all “become as one” as they engage in group sex. Puns in a porno…Tutt Tutt.

I know it’s customary to laugh at porno sets sometimes but this had me in stitches when Margaret is told to enter The Portal of Eternal Happiness and it looks like she is just walking out of someone’s living room in to the kitchen. Naturally of course the portal leads to a room where she has to screw a guy in a mask that makes him look like a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Another girl has to get it on with a guy who looks like a Mexican wrestler complete with small cape and mask. And while she’s getting busy with purifying her soul he is sprouting all this baloney about happiness and righteousness and how she is close to achieving purity and a higher level of being. Honestly it feels like I am watching scientology porn!

The dubbing at times is so bad that it feels like I am watching a Bruce Lee movie.The lighting is also appalling and it makes our first student of enlightenment with her blond hair look like a human lightbulb (see image below). That being said the actual porn isn’t all that bad. It’s just the right mix of close ups and full body shots to keep things interesting. I have to give the stars points for remembering their lines during the actual scenes although hearing the first girl keep calling him “Guiding Light” over and over again does start to get a little annoying. There’s enough here to keep it going but don’t expect anything extravagant.

—SPOILER ALERT—

The final fact about the true way is that all the masked men they have sex with are actually the ones who duped them in to going in the first place. It’s all a big con to score with ladies they wouldn’t have a chance with for one reason or another.

Conclusion.
Poor quality but it’s not unwatchable. Fairly average to the point where you won’t remember it unless someone asks you specifically about it.

Rating. 2/5

Retro Porn Trailer: A Touch of Genie

For our review of “A Touch of Genie” click here

Country Hooker (1974)

The Plot.
A couple of musicians are on their way to a show at a country bar. Along the way, they pick up a couple of sexy hitchhiking ladies and decide to pull over for a pitstop. Eventually, they make it to the bar and uncover that the deep voiced country singer that also plays there is also a pimp who uses the “waitresses” to make him some extra cash. It is up to our musician heroes to put an end to the singer and his operation.

The Cast.
Rene Bond – Sue (as René Bond)
Ric Lutze – Dave Anderson (as Rick Loots)
Sandy Dempsey – Jan
John Paul Jones – Billy B
Maria Arnold – Honey (as Marie Arnold)
Louis Ojena – Mike (as Louis Gen)

Production Value.
Above average for a movie of this type. The film makes excellent use of the desert setting that really makes me feel like I am there. It had the look and feel of a typical TV show of the period and while this might seem like a criticism its actually the opposite. When you compare the quality of this to Wendy’s Naughty Night (1972) or Teenage Madam (1977) you really start to appreciate the effort.

The Porn.
Almost entirely boy-girl oriented. The sex is pretty softcore with only the briefest views of “downstairs action.” If you are looking for a straight up skin flick there is better out there but the porn is only half the story – literally.

Review.
One of my biggest criticisms in porn is that often its a series of ridiculous situations portrayed by bad actors. In that respect this was a breath of fresh air for me and I personally think its a real gem of both the genre and the period. This really feels like a movie but with a healthy dose of sex. In terms of balancing the sex and telling a story there is a hefty amount of both and in pornos that can sometimes be a bad thing. If the acting or story (or both) isn’t up to much then you start hoping that the fat hairy guy is just going to get it on with the hot girl (who in reality would never get THAT lucky) if only to end the bad acting. This movie has fairly decent actors and a half decent story that really helps carry it.

Unfortunately the sex leans more towards the softcore/erotic angle and I think this is to the detriment of the movie. I am not being a chauvinist pig in saying that; I just feel that softcore serves its purpose by being erotic whereas the set ups in this film lean more towards a harder tone for the sex. I’ll give you an example; there is a sleep-sex scene which could be erotic if we didn’t learn in the scene before that the guy is a total sleaze and the way he goes about IT is essentially rape. That’s hardcore by anyone’s standards.

The country music was bloody annoying at times though and I began to wonder if the recording we had of it had suddenly been put on to a country and western music channel halfway through. One early scene was essentially a guy just singing a song and it went on for what felt like hours.

Conclusion.
A film to divide the opinions of a couple who enjoy porn. The quality of the movie is above average for a porno but the sex travels above and below average depending on the scene and your tastes. If you like artistic porn but without going all euro-erotica then this will appeal to you. If you don’t like country music then avoid it like the plague because it is almost throughout this film.

Rating: 2/5

Little bit of trivia for you all. This is one of the first porno movies to feature an actress with fake breasts. Rene Bond achieved a brief period of fame because of this fact but her fame didn’t last unfortunately as shortly after this film was released the censors attacked porn with a vengeance and she, like so many others, fizzled away.

Classic Erotic Poster/Cover Gallery #2

A Touch of Genie (1974)

The Plot.
The nerdy owner of an antique shop who feels he needs to wear a disguise to go to an adult movie theatre discovers a genie inside an old vase. The genie grants him five wishes and he uses them to live out his porno fantasies but somehow his overbearing mother manages to interfere in one way or another.

The Cast.
Chris Jordan – Genie (as Karen Craig)
Douglas Stone – Melvin
Tina Russell – Janet Geckel
Harry Reems – Himself
Marc Stevens – Himself
Ultramax – Mother
Harding Harrison – Irving
Levi Richards – Milkman (as John Ashton)
Eric Edwards – Insurance Salesman

Production Value.
Average. There’s nothing special here but what they do have suits the tone of the movie. It feels like you are in a sleazy part of New York.

The Porn.
A little bit of everything in this such as boy-girl and girl-girl with oral and full penetration intercourse. There is nothing outrageous although it does briefly wander in to Kay Parker’s Taboo territory where the main character finds his mother’s image wandering in to his fantasy but it is only to watch her having oral with the girl he was with. An interesting aspect of this movie is its take on the porn industry of the day and many of the stars including the great Harry Reems (pre court case and alcohol/drug abuse phase) play themselves as Melvin wishes he was them in their movies.

Review.
I was laughing through most of this movie and not because of the usual cheese that comes with these types of films from the 1970s. This one genuinely tried to make you laugh and in most instances it succeeded. Douglas Stone as Melvin was hilarious to watch especially since I have a friend who looks just like him. Chris Jordan as Genie was cute as a button, both her and Stone had some fun scenes.

I particularly enjoyed the take on people who felt the need to disguise themselves to go and watch a porn film in the movie theatres back in the day. I have to give this movie the fact that it was well acted in the scenes between the porn which were quite extensive. Here in lies one of the problems with this as a porn flick however and that is the intermittent scenes were too long. Being a fan of retro porn movies I respect the fact that this came out back in the “Golden Age of Porn” when these types of films were expected to go mainstream with the rest of Hollywood and so they did concentrate more on story. The thing is though other films of the time such as Dear Pam managed to find a really nice balance between the porn and the storyline which was also an amusing one.

As for the porn itself; boy was it short lived. In one scene the actor “gets in”, wiggles for several seconds and then pulls out only to ejaculate complete with a “boing” sound – its a comedy after all. Every ejaculation scene has a “boing” sound and it gets old really fast.

Conclusion.
The way this movie started we had high hopes for it with decent actors taking on humorous roles and taking their time to develop Melvin. Unfortunately for us the movie seemed to stop dead and the porn became either comical thus losing its erotic value or just plain mediocre. We know from the internet this movie has a cult following but alas its not one for us.

Rating: 2/5